October 21, 2009
Rhotic 3
Fear a bhí Dornálaíochta an aeir lá atá inniu ann, ach ní raibh rud ar bith ann.
Fear eile a bhí ag comhrá le fear na glúine
Cad é ag na fir Ding?
Abair liomsa.
October 21, 2009
The sound of Neal Rockwell II
Today I actually ate chicken legs. My companion asked me to remove the batter from his portions. My fingers sunk themselves into the task. Their ensued a pile of napkins and a great deal of complaint about the corn. He said he was more of a breast man.
It’s a Vancouver institution I said of the place where we sat. And listen to the great Euro pop music.
My companion asserted that far from Euro pop it was a radio station that every man was familiar with.
This encounter with actual chicken, in actual batter, on actual plastic seats has temporarily derailed me from the sound of Neal Rockwell. Neal Rockwell has become the older woman beside me who along with her husband bought a box of baby wipes with her and her husband reached into a red carrier bag and fed her 5 green or purple figs. You married well, I wanted to call across but was put off by the matter of us all drinking fizzy pop that will drive us up and back in the dental chair regardless of who we marry or how many figs we eat or whether Neal Rockwell can hear us.
October 21, 2009
Rhotic 2
Cén fáth a dhéanann gach rud tús agus deireadh le madraí agus bia i Vancouver Ding?
Seo mo cheist Dé Máirt.
Agus tá tú an cailín ach is féidir leo é a fhreagairt
Bia agus madrai aris.
October 19, 2009
Sound of Neal Rockwell I
Had quite the caper to encounter Neal Rockwell’s sound piece at Chapel Arts, part of LIVE Biennale. It was raining, a good reason not to have an auditory adventure, but what of it? Rain be damned, the Eustachian tubes are most deserving. The sound piece was a little tricky to locate in the building. Where is it? I asked a few people. In the other room and there it was. A cassette player. A set of headphones. Sat on a low brown table. A woman sat on a green chair nearby talking on a mobile phone.
The cassette player was a particular shape that was prevalant in the eighties, rectangular RCA brand. There were a few of us standing around, reminiscing briefly on old technology and delilah to see the merry old cassette in it’s shoe box shaped player.. then one man retreated to the roundtable meeting next door and it was me and the tape machine, which I poked and pushed and put the earphones on to dead silence. No hiss. No miss No sound.
I concluded this lack of sound must be part of the piece. Another man joined me and we speculated. P’haps we are to record the piece. I opened the tape. It read Neal: Radio Play. Maybe we’ve to write the radio play?
A few others joined us. We stood around the tape player. A man took out the headphones and cranked it up and joy! A male voice burst out of the tape player telling us he once worked at the Best Western Hotel and had an encounter with a man who ate chicken legs. (not an accurate quote). The voice was high pitched and elongated: very funny. The group of us started laughing. I was happy that we might hear the piece as a group. But then a bloke said “we’re starting soon” about the roundtable meeting in the room beside us somehow rounded everyone up.
Everyone dispersed. It was me and the machine. I plugged the headphones I had no faith in, into the machine and like most agnostic ruminations they did not disappoint.
Silence. The high, breathy male voice banging on about chicken legs was gegangen.
Tomorrow I will tell you further about my adventure to try to hear the sound of Mr Neal Rockwell.
October 17, 2009
Literary Weather 5 Conrad Forecast
It may be 48 hours ago but we are sure many of you are on our unique weather clock and will be happy to avail of retro weather forecasting. Featuring unique new score composed by the talented string maestro Nerf555
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwGO_qLRCaw&hl=en&fs=1&]
October 16, 2009
Rhotic Ding
Tá mé mór pian i mo aghaidh
An bhfuil tú ag éisteacht liom Ding?
Is é mo fiacail iarraidh cead mo guma coganta
An léann tú dom Ding?
Ba chóir dom a rugadh gan jaws
toisc go mbeadh an doras scioból a oireann níos fearr dom.
An bhfuil tú ann Ding?
Fáinne an clog!
Cnoc Mhuire ag an doras mo cailín
October 16, 2009
Rhotic: Paul Brady Matthew Barney
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SnGhxFXi8g&hl=en&fs=1&]
October 16, 2009
Tooth root length
“there are evidences that both of the sex chromosomes are expressed in tooth root growth.”
I’d like to officially assert, based on the exasperation my dentist expressed at the length of them, that the roots of my teeth are male. I’d like to request access to male changing rooms at the swimming pool or other male institutions (priesthood perhaps) in view of this development.
I’d like to express my deepest sympathy to anyone with a pain in their face at present. Teeth are peculiar entities when they decide they’re no longer willing to co-habit with one’s gums in their present form and demand cement at inconvenient hours of the night when no dentist is open.
October 16, 2009
low on fodder
Harvest whatever is possible by leaving out the wetter areas of a field;
Leave large headlands uncut to take machinery;
Drive machinery smoothly and avoid sharp turning;
Open new gaps and gateways to fields;
Don’t fill trailers fully and haul bales to the wrapper at the storage area so that there are fewer machines in the field;
Large, low-pressure tyres on harvesting machinery are a big advantage in wet conditions.