I am pleased to announce a massive achievement involving dexterity, shoulders and sweat. I have just made a shoulder-high shelf for three pairs of Wellington boots, who were begging to be housed in a significant position. I have given them an eye line on the world.

Undoubtably the press will be demanding pictures of them, so I must quickly make a cup of tea before the rush begins and tidy myself up to match the boots presentable state and standard.