Again, today more opinions — misguided — on mothering. The Globe and its Africa edition. Has the new editor got a bit of a sniffer for celebs? Indeed he appears to. The paper under his editorship so far has become lighter. The books section (to which I contribute, tho’ after this blog post … who knows!) now contains a review of magazines: what’s on the shelf, which is an annoying ditzation. Other features have been chucked like The Buried Treasure column, clearly deemed too high brow, with the new appetiser menu demand. I’m particularly aggrieved at this since I took nearly three months to write about DM Fraser’s Ignorant Armies, a book I consider well worth three months consideration, to learn that the G&M could not find space for 800 words to allow the book and readers to consider the consideration. The Tuesday essay is sometimes little more than an author penning their own review or a thinly disguised press release and purposeless how I wrote this book themed ding dong. It’s dismaying, most dismaying and readers deserve much better.
I was perturbed to listen to an interview in which the new editor (name to be uncovered in a few clicks… John Stackhouse) described discussing with Geldof and Bono whether to include or remark on Canada’s recent ludicrous stance on maternal heath funding and abortion, otherwise known as the recent shut the fuck up affair. The three males debated and considered and concluded that Africa had more pressing maternal health concerns. (he refers it around 2.06- 2.40 onwards) Be that as it may, I am perturbed that 3 men decide this, 3 men who also do not seem to have an understanding of the words maternal health.
Maternal health considerations must include abortion. Maternal health surely begins with a woman actually wanting to be pregnant. What kind of maternal health, indeed mental health, might ensue if she does not.
But critically our government’s stance should not just be ignored and gauzed over with “far more pressing issues for maternal health and wellbeing… not a pressing concern..”
I love doubling up on reading material: reading at both ends of the pole simultaneously. I especially like reading odd text books for relaxation because I like my brain to do its cycling when reading fiction. I have collected a few odd bod text books one on neural aging, another on virology and had to work really hard recently not to purchase some extremely antiquated guide to going under the bonnet of a car I don’t possess and no one has possessed since about 1969. I have a tiny hand sized book of forestry terms and other oddities.
Today while waiting on something I grabbed a trade journal on aesthetic dentistry and a well know publication for a religious faith that I will not be typing the name of here because I’ll surely be flooded with invitations from them. The dentistry mag was compelling visually — before and after and phoah…. technical surgical pictures. I’d no idea how much things have progressed! Plus the terms like bruxism, malocclusion, are lovely and ornate.
The other religious mag was less enjoyable but more surreal. The text was straight out of Batman. One section was dedicated to persuading young people to say no to premarital sex. It had three lines left empty for the person to fill up. One of the main proposals was that if 2 out of 3 high school kids graduate and are “sexually active” that means one third are not and so everyone is Not doing it. The piece was illustrated by three young folk who had captions explaining it was difficult to say no (in comparison to the article that insisted it was impossible not to say no) and therefore you should say no firmly, walk away and be aware that others will appreciate your qualities. The quality of the writing was so poor I actively felt for the publication.
The country I’ve visited that appeared to have a better situation for mothers and children was Iceland. Their daycare system is subsidized by the government and even when the country had its calamity recently the adverts taken out in the newspaper included the words Think of the children in them …
I also remember reading an anthropology study way back in the 90’s (published long before) which described how children were included in the conversation in the family. If the child interrupted the conversation say, the attention would turn and focus entirely on what the child was contributing rather than shushing him/her then when the child was finished the conversation would resume. The anthropologist (who for some reason is coming back to me as Arenberg (?) recorded these observations in a family set up. Generally there was a great deal more ease around children I noticed when I was there.
I also remember being struck when I was there, and I was not a mother at the time, how children were included everywhere, in bars, restaurants. I recall a line of silver cross prams outside bars and so on.
With the current economic calamities it would be interesting to learn how this has changed. I must ask my good friend there about it. The economic situation has been pretty brutal from what I’ve heard.
I’m not entirely convinced about celebrating Mother’s Day though my beloved males did prepare a mammy breakfast like no other for me. Champagne! Rice flour pancakes (with a bit of grumbling) and a participatory card. The sausage looked a bit out of place on the pancake. It should have been a more ovarian shape. This is the trouble with sausages. They’re so uncooperative.
In many ways these are not good times to be a mother. There’s so much division around motherhood and people tend to blame mothers and have ludicrous expectations of them. In someways Mother’s Day is a collective pretending to like mothers while burying your hostility in flowers and pancakes. It’s more like a 24 hr fast than a celebration.
Molly Bloom should have had a line to sum this up. She has one that comes close and could be adapted to the task. You’ve been tasked!
In something of an unfortunate co-incidence I found myself today reading Norman O Brown’s revised take on Freud’s Oedipal Project and anality and castration (via Ernest Becker). It pretty much hosed the happy days effect of the champagne and pancakes. To reward my epic mothering (disputed this month by some twat, who is about as knowledgeable on the topic as the effects of wearing clogs on Mars, but when it comes to mothering everyone has an opinion for you…) I went to a very high tech car wash that terrified the life out of me because it was so science fiction in its instruments. I’d almost take friends on a tour to this thing it’s so nuts.
On that note I have to go bring supper to the mama with the new baby … his absolute divineness … he is marvellous the new boyo … and his mama is beyond marvellous. She’s mighty.
We will surely swear and laugh a lot and compare notes on banjaxed hips.
What have I learnt about being a mother after 10 years at it? Books, chips, tickles, rockin’ out, big love and comedy are your only mam. All other provisions and instructions result in the gravest protests and disappointments. (brush your teeth, eat your dinner, mind your brain there and so on).
Two friends with 140 years of age between them came yesterday and dug my garden plot because of incapacity due to falling over. I sat in the chair, tugged a few clumps and massaged the strawberry plants.
After they’d dug and manured and all the other things people who know about gardening do in these circumstances, my hip began to feel better! Over 3 years there must have been 10 people who’ve tried to dig that plot with me and it was finally tamed by yesterday’s epic gardening duo.
I took my hip to the hot tub again and afterwards the hip and I gazed admirably at the synchronized swimming team whose hair was glazed with gelatin. There was rather a Moscow State Circus circa 1980’s feel to the garish, bright costumes.
plumbed
I have just had my first plumbing success and fixed up my toilet. The matter that it was the most basic plumbing calamity that can occur should not detract from the venture inside the cistern.
Co-incidentally a moment ago I caught a headline that read Roger Federer loses … Roger Federer rarely loses and we must conclude his tennis sacrifice was necessary due to the serious plumbing progress that was happening simultaneously in another part of the world.
The fellas in the plumbing shop (Hillcrest Discount something off Main) were so helpful and we enjoyed a great conversation about farming difficulties that I may have to invent plumbing calamties just to have a reason to venture back over there for another exchange with them.