Two friends with 140 years of age between them came yesterday and dug my garden plot because of incapacity due to falling over. I sat in the chair, tugged a few clumps and massaged the strawberry plants.

After they’d dug and manured and all the other things people who know about gardening do in these circumstances, my hip began to feel better! Over 3 years there must have been 10 people who’ve tried to dig that plot with me and it was finally tamed by yesterday’s epic gardening duo.

I took my hip to the hot tub again and afterwards the hip and I gazed admirably at the synchronized swimming team whose hair was glazed with gelatin. There was rather a Moscow State Circus circa 1980’s feel to the garish, bright costumes.