Anakana Schofield – Author of Bina, Martin John and Malarky

Neuro coptor

I am not encouraged that the combination of wearing an “I love Elvis” teeshirt and eating rollmops has done anything to quell the neurological helicopter of this eighth day of suffering severe vertigo.

Today’s offering to neuroscience. Close the refrigerator and hands off those discarded tee shirts with pink hearts.

Elvis a dilemma

The I love Elvis tee-shirt is a bit over the top. You know it will cause people who love Elvis to talk Elvis with you and since you don’t love Elvis what are you going to say?

I could say, the truth, that I found it and liked the shape of the arms and the goofy pink heart and purple letters.

That isn’t going to cut it for people who actually love Elvis.

Well I could offer the only Elvis story I have, you know the one about the woman who worked in the newsagents in Las Vegas, the dancing and the horses out the back.

No one who loves Elvis wants to hear about horses out the back.

She did say he was a gentleman.

Nah. Won’t cut it. They’re tired of the gentleman talk.

I could say I saved Elvis from the landfill.

Nah.

What do you suggest then?

Wear the tee shirt inside out. Loving Elvis is not something you can fake.