Anakana Schofield – Author of Bina, Martin John and Malarky

Sparked cardigans

Yesterday I was listening to Spark and was fascinated by a discussion on binary. I was just thinking to myself as I listened how much I enjoy that CBC radio programme about techology, despite not being amongst the more technologically sharp. I noticed a status update today on Facebook read “Is there anything more boring than listening to people talk about the internet on the radio” and then beneath it someone had typed Spark? Not far underneath it another person had written ..yes people talking about cardigans and cited a programme last Thursday where cardigans were discussed.

I had to chuckle as cardigans are one of my favourite topics. I have so many conversations with strangers about their cardigans. They are one of the few items I would go shopping for. (Other than wood I like shopping for wood and tools and books). My granny’s cardigan is on the chair as I type this and it’s completely undefeated in terms of the wind. All these fancy coats and you’re still pulling them around you. Put on Granny’s cardigan and you’ve got instant feathers. Plus it has half of one button missing, it looks like someone chomped it.

This years Farmer’s 2011 Almanac — hot off the shelf here — predicts that the Nov -March period will be colder in BC, with higher than normal snowfall.

In contrast snowfall will be below normal in the Maritime provinces.

Thus we shall be expecting shipments of unused thermals and legwarmers, from distant, warmer than usual, friends.

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Thanks to the insights of the wool wearing Madame Julie, I have learned that the reason multiple cardigans are not improving my temperatures (3 identical cardigans at last count) is because said cardigans are made of cotten, silk and something, and are by her definition Spring cardigans!

I have to exercise restraint in the matter of acquiring a fourth identical pointless cardigan. I find such comfort when clothing is identical. Perhaps it is all those years of wearing a school uniform, or some other neurological reasoning, like not actually having to take up any brain space making a decision about what is to be worn, ever. A tic, I accept it’s a tic.

Winter is here, I can already feeling myself craving nerdy cardigans. Odd since the sun was bouncing off the pavement today. I have an autistic relationship to clothing. I only want to wear the same items. My partner observed this recently when stowing my laundry — stowing not folding. Folding is not a task I’d entrust to anyone. I find folding laundry very pleasing. I just have no desire to do anything beyond folding it into a stack. Hence his generous intervention.

“Oh my God,” he exclaims. “I just couldn’t believe it there were like twenty identical shirts, twenty cardigans and so on.” He exaggerates there is maybe 7 of each. I like doing laundry too much to ever require twenty of anything. Except books, shelves, raisins and easy anchors.

I had to remind him that the impressive items of clothing I own have been purchased for me by him and his mother.

There is a particular black cardigan, longer with grandad pockets that may be joining my x7 fashion line up. I have 2, both donations, but with the wintery feelings may have to embrace a third.