Anakana Schofield – Award Winning Author of Bina, Martin John and Malarky

New Puffin Nation

Following on from Quebec’s excellent example of possibly declaring itself a nation within Canada (good work lads..) I am declaring my own new nation here in BC called simply Puffin. (not to be confused with Muffins. Our nation will be short but not edible. Do not attempt to nibble us on sight). This nation will be led by the following imposing looking madames:

Madames Puffins

 I can assure you that under the governance of these bonnes vaches you won’t be receiving the phone call survey I did the other night, on behalf of the local govt, where I was asked whether I thought someone should be denied a job on account of being a smoker.  Er.. it’s not too far in the distant past when our Premier got sniffly on the news apologizing for being tanked on Martinis while hurtling along the road in Hawaii. Now I wouldn’t be a huge fan of the holy smokes, but the persecution of tea drinkers is obviously next on the list.

We Puffinois will be speaking French because we like it, but there will be an end to those police escort situations for Foreign dignitaries or govt types from other provinces. Basically we’ll provide a fold up bike at the airport for ye and a small comb to rearrange yourself if you insist on arrival.

Puffin nation will provide all Puffinois with cooked food. It will be a more upscale version of a soup kitchen since we know that deep down it’s food that causes all the stress. Puffin nation recognizes some of us aren’t cut out for cooking and this misery should end.

The pressing question with all this talk of the new nation of Quebec is will this signal an end to the floppy 1980’s sweatshirt look over there?

 We’ll be debating it in our first caucus.

 In the meantime I propose we all form another nation without Stephen Harper (Prime Minister) in it.

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